


Pink To Blue Means...

by deerskull_writes



Category: HLVRAI - Fandom, Half-Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: Benrey centric, Benrey is sad TM, M/M, One-Sided Relationship, maybe..... ;)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:28:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24893914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deerskull_writes/pseuds/deerskull_writes
Summary: For people like him, the Black Mesa Sweet Voice isn’t just for communication. It’s a comfort, too, knowing that he’s not the only freak in Black Mesa who’s able to do it - but, outside of a few other guards and a skeleton or two hiding in the vents, he’s alone. A wide range of tones and pitches and an even wider range of colour in the physical manifestation of the sound had so many meanings, and as Benrey opens his eyes, the pang in his chest mirrors the deep shades of blue hanging in the air.Deep blue means. . . sadness for you.
Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman
Comments: 7
Kudos: 186





	Pink To Blue Means...

**Author's Note:**

> Please be kind, this is baby's first AO3 post so I don't know if the formatting is great!! If I find the motivation, I might write a part 2 for this too ;)

It’s night, or at least they’re pretty sure it is. It’s sort of difficult to tell when underground, but everyone is tired and it’s a good time to take a break. Coomer, Bubby and Tommy were at one end of the room, curled up and already asleep, and Gordon was checking the hallways around the room to make sure that no one would attack them while they rested. Benrey sat alone against the wall at the other end of the room, making sure his eyes were on all doors and all people. He’s still a security guard, after all, and he doesn’t get tired like the rest of the team does. He can watch them and make sure that they’re safe.

With a sigh, Benrey leans back, closing his eyes for a moment as his helmet gently _tonks_ against the wall. So much had happened, and all because he was trying to help, but there were things happening now that are so far beyond anyone’s control and he could feel his grip on himself slipping. If only people listened to him. If only Gordon had listened to him. He draws his knees up to his chest, crossing his arms over the top of them, making a quiet, low rumble in the back of his throat.

For people like him, the Black Mesa Sweet Voice isn’t just for communication. It’s a comfort, too, knowing that he’s not the only freak in Black Mesa who’s able to do it - but, outside of a few other guards and a skeleton or two hiding in the vents, he’s alone. A wide range of tones and pitches and an even wider range of colour in the physical manifestation of the sound had so many meanings, and as Benrey opens his eyes, the pang in his chest mirrors the deep shades of blue hanging in the air.

_Deep blue means. . . sadness for you._

The rumble in this throat suddenly shifts into a higher, surprised pitch of bright danger red as _something_ crashes down beside him. Benrey nearly shoves himself away to get a good look of what the hell it is, quickly registering the orange of the HEV suit and clawing his way back into an expression that was as neutral as he could manage. He glances up at Gordon, then turns back and lets himself settle back into a quiet rumble, only to cut himself off completely when he sees the soft pinks in the air. _Damn it, no, stop that._

“Hey man. Aren’t you going to sleep?” Gordon asks once he’d got himself comfortable, seemingly having decided to try to have a pleasant conversation for once. Benrey doesn’t reply, which only makes him huff quietly and lean back against the wall. “Oh, yeah. I forgot. That whole ‘I’m not a human’ thing. Does that effect sleep as well as radiation an- and whatever the fuck else we’ve come across?”

“Uh, yeah. It’s pretty cool. Get to watch you guys sleep.” He distracts himself with picking at a thread on his sleeve, glad of the shadow cast over his face on top of the darkness in the room, especially when Gordon lets out a half-hearted chuckle.

“Yeah, okay, creep. Is that what you do every time we fall asleep? You watch us and do that-- what’s it called? The- sweet voice??”

“I mean. Yeah.” He sits up a little, pretending that he wasn’t shuffling closer and instead just settling back into the position he had before Gordon had scared the hell out of him. “I told you, it’s… calming.”

Gordon rolls his eyes, tutting. “Maybe for you, it is.”

There’s a moment of silence where neither of them speak, simply sitting next to each other peacefully, for maybe the first time of this whole trip. Benrey feels a little emotion resting in his chest, a pang of pain joining it as he puts a name to the feeling.

“So what does that mean?” Gordon says suddenly, pointing up at the colour still hanging in the air and jolting Benrey out of his thoughts.

“Hu- wha- ?” He starts, looking up and immediately regretting his entire short song. A tangled curl of dark blues shifting quickly into jagged reds, which soften into gentle pinks. You didn’t have to be an expert to know what it meant.

_Pink to blue means..._

“I hate you.” Benrey says in a matter-of-fact tone, though a sharp grin is pulling across his face, attempting to make it a joke. It threatens to waver as Gordon grimaces and sighs, pushing his glasses up to rub his eyes. _Why do I even bother_ , he hears him mumble to himself, and his chest tightens. Why does he even bother, when he knows that he’s just gonna come out with the same recycled insult over and over? He knows that Gordon believes the lie that he hates him, and yet...

“Y’know what? I was trying to be nice, and you’re still an asshole. I’m going to sleep. Goodnight.” He gets up, walking to the other side of the room, leaving Benrey alone on his side. Leaving him alone again.

_Goodnight,_ he wants to reply.

 _I didn’t mean it,_ he wants to say.

 _Come back,_ he wants to ask.

“Yeah. Don’t let the bed bugs bite.” He mumbles instead, crossing his arms tight across his chest and staring up at the ceiling, begging himself not to make any more noise for fear that it would show how he’s really feeling. He wants to think himself lucky that Tommy is the only one who knew what he really meant, even if he was a little wrong at times, but he can’t. Human words are so stupidly complicated and it’s difficult to get the right meaning into his voice so he just gives up on doing it half of the time, but then it ends up being misinterpreted and he ends up alone. Every single time.

_Pink to blue means something I can’t tell you,_ Benrey thinks to himself, wishing that he could fall asleep and stop feeling so much.

But he can’t.


End file.
